We WILL be showing the US Election Results tonight! Starting at 6 until the world(or election) ends... Drink specials are contingent on the results:
-If Hillary wins... 3.25 Jack Daniels and 3.25 Vodka
-If Trump wins... 2.75 Black Velvet Rye and 3.25 Harvey Wall Bangers
-If a militia takes over the White House... 3.00 Pints of everything
-If Russia invades... 2.75 Stoli cocktails
-If Jesus returns... Half price bottles of wine
-If mass riots occur... 3.25 Kraken spiced rum
-If terrorists attack... 2.75 Gin
-If Anonymous "shuts it all down"... 3.25 Brewsters pints
-If one of the candidates reveals themselves to be the Anti-Christ... Half price bottles of wine
-If one of the candidates reveals themselves to be a bear in a human costume... 3.25 Scotch
-If Ronald Reagan climbs out of his grave and slaps the microphone out of the face of a candidate and promptly returns to his eternal slumber... 2.75 Martinis
-If Aliens decide attempt to make first contact... 3.25 Long Island Ice Teas
-If Barack Obama, at any point of the night, walks onto a stage holding both middle fingers in the air, proclaiming "Fuck all y'all, I'm out"... Good for him, they never deserved him
-If Trump pulls off his face revealing himself to be Vince McMahon and proclaims "It was me Austin! It was me all along!"... 2.75 Budweisers
-If the entire campaign is revealed to be an elaborate reality show by Fox... 4.00 Old Fashioned
-If Bill Clinton rides a white horse with Ivanka Trump at some point of the evening (HAS TO BE TELEVISED)... 2.75 Cap'n Morgan
-If a candidate is assassinated... That would be horrible, why would you say such a thing and 2.75 Patron
-If locusts ravage all the agriculture fields in the USA... Half price appys
-If Mickey Mouse wins as a write-in candidate... The US will be run by giant corporations. That could never happen but if it did, 2.75 Crown Royal
-If Bernie Sanders... Nahhhhh
-If nothing changes... You'll know you're free?